Kundalini teacher and Co founder of Alchemy in Camden, Simon Andriesz gives us his tips on growing and sustaining a healthy and happy relationship.
Be honest
Healthy relationships are often the ones that are enduring and make us in the long term the happiest. Being mindful of your partner often allows you to have a more balanced and honest exchange. This honesty means that hostility is not built up therefore the love is more pure and easier to maintain.
Yoga + love
Having a regular yoga practice often helps us personally and also benefits our partners. We can even do yoga together, which can be a very special experience. Kundalini in particular lends itself well to transformation, self acceptance and feelings of peacefulness as it raises the energy at the base of our spines so impacts positively on our partners and everyone else we interact with. It is also the yoga of self awareness which can be very important in maintaining a positive and balanced intimate relationship.
Stop seeking perfection
We often seek out ‘perfect’ partners. There really is no perfect - we are all human and have our little foibles that our partner has to endure. It’s how we deal with them that matters. In modern society we are led to believe that the grass is always greener - this leads to us switching relationships many times instead of working and investing in what we already might have.
Intimacy + everyday interation
A list of what the other person did wrong often leads to arguments and can even sour a healthy relationship. Graceful and respectful communication often leads to good sexual relationships. If you are being honest with each other on a day to day basis you will probably find that good things will come of it. Sex cannot solve problems or create trust to replace open communication.
Become more aware
Like in your yoga practice it’s important to work through any tension or blocks in your relationship. Always observe what's happening in your mind and body in any confrontation and above all try and see the other person's point of view. Try and have compassion for the other person's struggle and life challenges. In reality we are all just doing the best we can to get through life. See your part in any given situation and just keep your side of the street clean. If you feel you have acted badly in any given situation take ownership of that and apologise, but without conditions or buts.
Appreciate + love who you're with
It’s easy to get caught up in an imaginary fantasy person who does not exist. What did Marilyn Monroe say? They got to bed with Marilyn Monroe but they wake up with Norma Jean. Learning to appreciate and honour who you are with will make them feel good and you. See the beauty in the person you love even the little things. These are the special things that you would miss if they weren't in your life. Whether you love the way she looks when she sleeps, how she cries at the movies or the notes she leaves you in your bag when you go away on business.
Be mindful
By bringing mindfulness into relationship, you gain the power to consciously participate in both how your relationship develops and how you develop as a loving person. The relationship will not lose its messiness or its disappointments, but by making it a practice, even the difficulties become meaningful. Your commitment to love becomes the ground from which you meet whatever life brings.
To find out more about Simon or visit his classes visit www.alchemythecentre.co.uk. Simon will also be launching the Alchemy retreats from April 2010.
